How To Gain Self-Confidence In 8 Steps

By Sharon R. Upchurch


How to gain confidence? Let's begin with focusing on what you have. Too many people always focus and complain on what they do not have. We all have a lot going for us if only we sit back and count our blessings. Start by focusing on what you have and your journey to gain confidence will begin on the right footing. You wouldn't need a counseling degree to understand these tips to improve your confidence.Self Belief.You are what you think. If you think you know nothing then you really know nothing. But if you take time to believe in yourself, no matter how challenging this task is to you then you are on to something. Self belief is very important especially in learning how to gain confidence. Our thoughts affects our feelings and it affects our actions.

You only need one thing when you go up the stage: confidence-an unaltered confidence. It's what makes your legs stop from trembling. It keeps your feet intact on the ground. It clears your mind for you to be able to concentrate on just the content of what you have to say. The dilemma right here is this: how are you going to gain that confidence?There are two kinds of public speaking you might be caught in. One is that kind in which you are given a period of time to prepare, such as guest speaker speech during a commencement exercise. The other kind is the speech in which you are caught off guarded, such as extemporaneous speeches or ambushed interviews.

Let's take the first kind first. Since you are given enough time to prepare for it, then you might as well take advantage of that time. Never take it for granted and start writing your speech at the last minute instead. A rushed speech will betray you of your confidence. The tendency is that, if you go unprepared, your mind will be rattled. And when your mind is as messed up as garbage, the words that will come out from you will be nothing but gibberish. You're definitely going to lose your audience. So if you want to turn on the other side of the table and make things right, organize your speech and do it well. Preparedness can make you confident. The reason is simple: you know what you're going to talk about beforehand. It's like showing your audience a painting you have worked hard for. You simply know your craft.

Allow being judged - You have to accept this because everyone, including me, judges other people. All you need to do is be okay with it; some will judge you positively and others negatively. This is hard! But you have to do it, just do not be so concerned on how people think about you. Appreciate yourself just the way you are and you are going to gain self-confidence.Help other people - By helping other people or just showing kindness, you create an awareness in your mind that you have a positive impact in the outside world. It helps to treat others how you want to be treated. When you constantly treat others kindly, they will begin to treat you the same way. Therefore this will help you gain self-confidence.

Help Someone.Helping someone makes you feel good. It also allows you to see some of the qualities you have that you may have overlooked. Being able to help someone is a subtle and often overlooked way on how to gain confidence. Think about it, being able to help someone says that you do have some good skills other needs.How to gain confidence? You need not do all of it. Feel free to mix and match. Try different things. The important part is act upon your plan.Have you ever felt the whole world was against you? No matter what you try, you just can't succeed, causing you to have a total lack of self-confidence. You may even feel that way now, but what I am about to share with you should pull you out of that place and into a mindset and feeling of total possibility and success to ensure you boost your self-confidence rapidly.While you feel isolated from everyone else when you are going through this phase with no confidence, within the next few minutes you will learn that you are not alone at all. In fact you will discover that you have more support at your disposal than you thought possible guaranteeing you to build confidence.

While some people revert to eating, shopping, crying, screaming or even, hibernating from everyone, I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that these reactions don't help the situation or your self-confidence very much. Instead of running that "spit the dummy" routine when you are feeling like a failure, let's transfer your focus and energy on something that may help your cause, instead of magnifying it.The quickest way to do this is turning to your supporters. Firstly you need to know,Who are your supporters? Who can help pull you out of this emotional downtime? Who can give you that confidence boost?I call this emotional downtime, because, while you feel like a loser with no confidence, it's only your emotions which are responsible for your results. Your actual knowledge and skills are good enough to succeed, but it's your pessimistic focus that drives your negative emotions which in turn give you the disappointing results that you produce when in this state resulting in no confidence. When you are in such an emotional downtime, it's virtually impossible to turn yourself around by yourself.

But of course, confidence is to be distinguished from arrogance, which does not attract people or success. When you are confident, you believe in your own abilities but you do not need to look down at or mistreat others. In fact, the greater your confidence, the more you will act in a selfless, generous and engaging manner.Here are three top tips to help you develop confidence at work.Focus On Confidence.Confidence is ultimately an emotion. When you feel the emotion of confidence, it allows you to access inner resources that make you more capable and focussed. On the other hand, when you feel a lack of confidence, you will tend to hold back, not take risks and generally under-perform.But while confidence may be an emotion, developing it is more of a skill. And skill requires practice. Any complex skill that you are now able to perform, which includes reading, writing and talking required a lot of practice. Any skills at work that you are able to perform also required practice.

But with the help of others, this can be done quickly and easily.Just like any business person or athlete, whenever they question their ability to produce the necessary results, they turn to their coach to pull them out rather than trying to do it themselves because they know that at the time,They are emotionally charged negatively to the situation, limiting possible outcomes and perceptions.Their coach/supporter is not emotionally connected to the situation, and therefore can think logically.Who is or can be your personal coach to pull you out of situations when you are feeling down with no confidence? Think carefully here, you don't want to choose the wrong coach.Think of all your family members, friends, colleagues, neighbors, members of any clubs you belong to, shop owners etc. you have gotten to know.Now all you have to do is contact them.

So what thoughts do you have on a regular basis? Monitor your "self-talk". That is, listen to things that you say to yourself each day. If it's a lot of "I'm no good at this" and "I can't do this" then of course, you will not feel confident.If you can change your habitual thoughts, you can transform your confidence.Develop your skills.Confidence without competence is not a great look. The more competent you are at work, the more confident you will feel. Most people take a very vague and unhelpful approach to improving their skills. If the company pays for them to go on a course, they will do it. But in the 21st century, you can't afford to leave your improvement in the hands of others. Especially in hard economic times, the opportunities for learning may not be as forthcoming.

So you need to take control. It's not that hard. Just set aside some time each day to develop your skills. Make it a ritual. It might be reading trade publications. It might be reading a book related to your field. The best time to do is first thing in the morning. That way, nothing else will get in its way.And something that really helps is to find another person or a group who share your desire for improvement. You will be able to motivate each other, discuss things you have learnt and generally help each other to maintain focus. All you need to do is improve a little bit each day, and pretty soon, you will notice a huge difference.The more capable you become, the more confident you will feel. It's like a self-reinforcing cycle. As you increase your confidence, you will feel more compelled to improve yourself.Putting It All Together.When you feel confident at work, you will enjoy it more, perform better and ultimately be more successful. Take steps to focus on developing your confidence, change your thoughts and invest time in getting better at what you do.




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