Ways To Increase Your Self-Confidence

By Ewald Moors


Striving to improve our self esteem is on everybody's mind. It doesn't matter if you actively pursue this goal or you subconsciously working on improving your self esteem. The problem with this is that you really don't know exactly what you want to improve. You're acting intuitively on external signals.Do you know how to improve your self esteem? Probably not. To make it a little bit easier for you and to achieve your goals quicker I put together 10 tips that you can utilize right away.Build up your self-esteem. You must take an inventory. What do you want to improve or change about the way you interact with others? Try to make only one change at a time. Always check you progress before making another change. Know what you want and Think about how the people you will be meeting can help you reach those goals. Then decide how to approach each person accordingly. Apply this regularly and you will notice a difference.Be proactive. Take the initiative. Be decisive. Let the other person know exactly how he or she can help you. Proactive people tent to be more successful in their career.Treat each person you meet as if she or he is truly important. (You'll be amazed how this works.)

I don't think there is anyone in this world who would want to have low self esteem. Sadly though, the factors that conjured to form this emotional issue is often beyond our control. Luckily, we have control over what we choose to do with the self-esteem that we have. You can either sulk with your low self esteem all your life or decide to work on improving it. But, you should bear in mind that improving your self esteem would take time and would require effort and dedication. There are so many things to do to successfully build up your self esteem, but here are the first three things you need to work on:

Wear clothes that fit you correctly.In the past, I've made the mistake of trying to disguise my body flaws by wearing baggy clothes. Have you? The truth is that wearing ill-fitting clothes only serves to accentuate the very areas you're trying to cover up. Those big, baggy T-shirts don't do any favours for most women. In fact, they make you look even bigger.Sometimes we squeeze ourselves into a pair of jeans (in the correct size) but they look terrible because of the cut. It is much better to buy a larger size and be comfortable. It's the fit not the size that matters.Be kind to yourself.Think about the things you tell yourself when you make a mistake. Would you say those same things to your friends? Probably not. When we make mistakes, we are often very hard on ourselves. Yet we treat other people much, much better. Next time this happens, stop and start talking to yourself as you would talk to a friend.Remind yourself often of your good qualities.Do you know what your best qualities are? Are you kind and compassionate? Do you treat people fairly? Are you a friendly person? Do you like to help people?

Make a list of at least five good qualities and remind yourself of them daily, but especially when you're having a bad day.Don't dwell on your past mistakes.Recognise that the mistake does not define who you are. You can fail an exam without being a failure. Your relationship might have gone off in the ditch but that does not mean you are a failure.Keep things in perspective. It just means that you failed the exam or that the relationship failed. Surround yourself with supportive people.The last thing you need when you feel down or less-than-fabulous is to be surrounded by naysayers and negative people telling you that "all men suck" or "it's impossible to get that job you're after".Choose carefully who you share your heart with and surround yourself with people who will encourage and motivate people. If you don't have many of those in your life, then contact me and I will be your cheerleader!

There are a few on the surface things that can help. Making a man feel needed is on that is often a sure fire way to get there. Unfortunately, today's independent women have been chipping away at this little tool. You pay your own bills, can change your own tires or call Triple A, and you will hire someone to mow the lawn on the house that you bought. Every now and again, though it would not be so bad to let him help with some of the manly stuff, like the car or something with the house. You know you could take care of it, but it's nice to have him do it for you and he relieves you of the pressure or responsibility of having to handle it. One less thing to worry about.This brings me to my next point. When a man does something for you, whether it is because you could not do it or because you allowed him to help, be appreciative. People want to help, but no one wants to feel unappreciated. No matter how little or how big the deed, it's important that he knows that his efforts are appreciated. Otherwise he has no incentive to want to help again, and you will both be denying him the opportunity to step up and do more of these things that should make him feel great.

As a personal development coach, I have worked with many individuals to increase self-esteem and self-acceptance. The following 10 tips have proven time and again to improve self-confidence for a wide variety of people.Clothes Make the Man and Woman. Yes, it's an old cliche', but that doesn't make it any less true. When we dress confidently, we feel confident.This one is simple change can dramatically improve self-confidence.

Taking him to the game is one that can work with your man or any other male in your life. A day about him, where he is picked up (you do the driving no matter how far) and you take care of everything until you drop him home. When you go through the trouble of making a day about someone, that says "I think you are important", and it validates this person's place in your life. He will also be thinking "I must really be important for someone to go through all the trouble of planning a day for me", and that will have a positive impact on his views of self as well. Everyone wants to feel that they matter.

If you see negative TV or read a newspapers about murder events and the ugly things of everyday life then you will be cynical and pessimistic. If you read books and listen to positive programs you will absorb and enjoy better vibes every day.Associate yourself with good and positive people. Your self-esteem suffers when you surround yourself with negative people who criticize you or make you feel bad. On the other hand, when you feel accepted and motivated then you feel much better about yourself and your self-esteem grows in a positive environment that makes you feel at ease.Make a list of your personal success. Write down everything you've done that make you feel proud of yourself, this can range from having learned to skate, to graduation from college, having received an award or a promotion at work, successes, reaching a business goal, etc..Read this list often and when you read close your eyes and recreate those feelings of satisfaction and pride you felt when you achieved such success.

Be a Giver. There is an old proverb that says "you only get what you give." With that in mind, start giving what you want to receive in life. Make other people feel as confident and worthwhile as you can. By helping to build up confident feelings in others, you are sure to get back the same thing. Call it karma or what ever you like -- it always works.Practice Forgiveness. Many people are very hard on themselves because, deep down, they have not forgiven themselves for something in their past. If you're clinging to some failure or transgression from the past, recognize that you are doing it and then forgive yourself completely for whatever it was. Likewise, if there is someone else in your life you need to forgive, make it a point to do so. NOT for their sake -- but for yours. When we forgive, we purify our heart and start anew.

Affirmations: Ask Yourself the Right Questions. Some people repeat affirmations such as "I am self confident," which is fine, but you can improve your affirmation results by using leading questions such as, "why am I so confident?" The subconscious mind operates in a very simple manner. When you ask it a question like this, it will immediately go to work looking for the answer, and it will report back to you all of the ways you already are confident."Model" Other Confident People. One way to improve self-confidence is to model the behavior of people whom you consider to be supremely confident. If you can befriend a very confident person, that's great. But if not, just find an actor or other celebrity who is confidence personified, and study their behavior. Do this several times a week, and some of their confident mannerisms are bound to rub off on you.Practice Gratitude. A grateful mind is a peaceful mind, and a peaceful mind radiates confidence. Practice making a daily gratitude list, and particularly focus on different aspects of yourself that you appreciate. Maybe you are a great swimmer, or good at math, or really strong, or a good dancer, or have an unusual sense of humor, or are good at design, or a great singer, or a really good friend, or any number of other positive attributes. Look for what is great about you, and then be grateful you have those qualities. Appreciating your good qualities will improve self-confidence, and help you develop the kind of positive self-image that is crucial to success in life.




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