How To Help A Depressed Man And Keep Your Relationship Strong

By Nurettin Buitenkamp


Men tend to deal with depression differently than women and may show different signs that they are depressed. Postpartum depression is an incapacitating psychological illness. It affects more than 15 percent of new mothers and 10 percent of new fathers. Many parents simply do not tell anyone that they are not coping with their new role as parents. It is common to experience very painful emotions after the birth of a new baby and men in particular do not ask for help. How many men visit a doctor when they need it, let alone get help when they are not coping emotionally or experiencing the baby blues?

What is Depression? There are several depressive illnesses. The three most common disorders include major depression, dysthymia, and bipolar disorder. They have their own distinctions, but all are similar because they affect a person's overall mood, attitude, emotions, and general productivity.Major Depressive Disorder-this illness manifests itself through several symptoms.These symptoms often interfere with the sufferer's daily life and his or her ability to study, eat, sleep, and work. Most sufferers might go through a severe episode only once, but some people experience them more than one.People who suffer from chronic major depression have to undergo indefinite treatment and intuitive counselling.

One man may throw himself into a favorite hobby whereas a workaholic may become more dependent upon work ...while ignoring his relationships.Men may show typical signs of depression, too, such as, feelings of fatigue and burn-out, sleep disturbances and decreased libido. Thought patterns may change; men may think more negatively and perceive the world in darker, more threatening ways. This can be a subtle change. Depressed men may start feeling anxious and worried, and respond poorly to daily problems or stress at work or home, either over reacting or under-reacting.Men may not discuss the way they are feeling with anyone, and may not recognize the changes themselves. As a result of societal conditioning, they tend not to talk about their stress with their friends, unlike women, who tend to get support from other women.And the impact their depression can have on their family life and primary relationships is often nothing short of devastating.

Strategies for Helping A Depressed Man.First, if you notice that a man you care about is depressed, don't beat him over the head with your observations; be careful how you approach the subject, or you may make your relationship problems worse. You might try sharing your concern with him, mentioning that you have noticed one or two of his symptoms. Go gently ...and see if you can get him to open up about how he's feeling. Express your concern. Avoid being critical. Don't blame. Just listen and tell him how concerned you are.

It's a fact: Depression symptoms will often improve with exercise.Getting started and staying motivated is the key.Of course when you are suffering from depression or anxiety, probably the last thing on your mind is exercise. But consider this: once you decide to make a start and get motivated to help yourself, exercise has the potential to make a huge difference in your life.Recent research has been carried out which has revealed that not only will depression and anxiety symptoms improve, but there will be a positive affect in other areas such as: potential lowering of high blood pressure, assisting in the control of sugar levels for people with diabetes, and improving chronic arthritis symptoms.

This is partly due to hormonal factors, especially when having premenstrual syndrome, postpartum depression, premenstrual dysphoric disorder, and perimenopausal depression. It is a serious matter and should not be taken for granted. A depressed woman will have disrupted daily activities and relationships with others, and these could be detrimental for her health. A depressed woman would show several symptoms including:

Consider the impact depression can have on relationships, especially intimate ones. A man's marriage can suffer because of his depression, and he may not realize what's wrong. His wife will feel the impact, as well; so, his biggest support system may be compromised, which only compounds the problem.Counseling.If you are in an intimate relationship with a depressed partner, it is often best to seek counseling. It is much easier and more effective to sit down with a trained relationship professional to discuss your relationship problems.

It is not necessary to dive headlong into a strict exercise routine. It's more important to find activities that suit your circumstances and your interests. For example: If you were out shopping and were faced with the option of taking the elevator or stairs, just take the stairs to incorporate a little more exercise into your day. Perhaps if you were going to the shops, you could park your car a couple of blocks away and walk the rest of the way there. Take the dog for a walk to the park, or if you don't have a dog, borrow the neighbors! They'll love you for such a kind gesture, and so will the dog.There are so many people walking around with depression but they do not go and ask for help. This can be for a variety of reasons. Fear of the unknown is one of them. This is actually so unnecessary. Why walk around with a symptom if you can be cured of it? Remember that depression does not only affect you but it actually affects the people around you as well. So it is important to tackle this issue together. Emotional support during a depression battle is vital. You must discern whether you want to opt for self help for depression treatments or medical treatments.

Also, long-term depression can keep a relationship down. It is difficult for the non-depressed spouse to keep a positive attitude when he/she has to deal with an unhappy, sad or anxious spouse who has been depressed for a long time. Frequently, the spouse of the depressed person will blame himself/herself or interpret the depressed spouse's actions as a rejection.

Suggestions.Depressed men may not know they are depressed and may not recognize the signs, and often choose not to talk about the problem. Yet depression can have a derogatory affect on relationships, careers and all areas of life.To help a depressed man, look for signs of depression, such as behavioral changes, and talk to the depressed man in a sympathetic way. Avoid allowing depression to remain in the closet. Give the man in your life, whether it be your husband, father, brother or friend, lots of support and encouragement. Establish communication about your concerns.Depression can have a serious impact on your marriage, and can cause serious relationship problems. Deal with it as a couple. Help your spouse get the help he needs. If there are problems in your relationship that are contributing to the depression, it is wise to address them. Don't allow depression to rob you of joy and happiness. Face it, find solutions and move on.Richard Hamon is a dynamic coach and therapist with 30 years of professional experience. Richard helps people to solve their relationship problems, enjoy truly extraordinary marriages and find exceptional success in their lives.You'll find all kinds of articles on how to spice up your relationships and lead a happier life at Richard's website, Happy-Relationships.com. Find out about personal coaching programs to assist you in quickly reaching your loftiest goals. Discover eBooks, relaxation CDs and other informative products, such as a free relationship quiz to help you assess your relationship.




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