Getting Your Spouse To Agree To Marriage Counseling

By Marissa Velazquez


It is sad to notice that the divorce rate between couples is climbing at an alarming speed. Although each couple may have different reasons for separating, it is a fact that life is stressful due to high prices, low or non-existing incomes and the pressures of society in general. These factors do have a negative influence on marriages. In the past marriage counseling was viewed as a last and embarrassing resort, but now it has become an accepted process that can do wonders for a relationship.

It is not always the case when both persons agree to go for outside assistance. There could be a number of reasons why someone may be hesitant, even if they know that it could help. When you have to discuss going to a counselor with your spouse, it is best if it is done in a certain way, so that the most beneficial outcome can be achieved.

Make sure that you bring up the topic when you are both feeling relaxed, and when there is no one else around. It is a private matter between the two of you and it should not be discussed with anyone else. Try to talk when you know that your partner is not overly stressed from work or other matters, so that it can be a conversation rather than an argument. Talk about it in a positive way, and in a way that your partner won't feel as if he or she is going to be negatively viewed.

There can only be two outcomes when you speak to your spouse. Either he or she agrees to come with you, or he or she declines the offer. If your spouse refuses, then you can consider going on your own. You can learn some skills to improve your relationship, and when your partner takes note of this, then he or she may be more willing to participate.

If your partner has agreed to go along with the idea, then you are off to a good start. Although seeing a professional won't guarantee a perfect future, it will certainly not do any damage, and in the process you will learn some good communication skills and learn how to respect the emotions of another person. By writing down some of the goals you hope to achieve by seeing the professional, you can assist the process.

Besides your goals, think of all the things that effect your relationship in a negative way. Make a note of them. Once they are written down, you will be able to see more clearly which things need attention.

Don't forget to focus on the good things about your marriage as well. Developing a positive attitude towards each other goes a long way when trying to improve a relationship. Write down the good things, and try to stay focused on them, rather than on the negative aspects.

Many couples can benefit from marriage counseling, not only those who are thinking of getting a divorce. Couples who have been under strain from substance abuse or the loss of a child can benefit, and just-married couples can enjoy learning some good communications skills. Try to choose a counselor who is professional and who has credentials.




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