Identifying And Dealing With Codependency

By Edna Booker


There are certain people that do not have any self worth and they usually rely on others to give them a sense of identity. A codependent relationship like this is very unhealthy as it often involves the person ignoring their own mental, emotional and physical needs in order to please and gain the approval of others. Codependency is often hard to identify and treat as there is usually denial involved.

Boundaries are an important aspect of relationships. Codependents often have trouble with boundaries. They may be blurred in the sense that they try to fix the other person, even if their advice is ignored. They become too responsible for the problems and feelings of another person. Others may have rigid boundaries so that others cannot get close. Sometimes they will fall around between these two extremes.

Real communication is usually absent in such a situation. The codependent person is so afraid of rejection and abandonment that they cannot be truthful. They support the other person even if this is at the detriment of their own health. Addiction, immaturity, irresponsibility and other problems are supported out of fear. Such a person would rather remain in an abusive relationship out of fear of being alone and abandoned.

They are afraid of being abandoned or rejected and will stay in a relationship, even if it is abusive. They actually choose a bad relationship over being alone. Low self-esteem, shame, fear of being judged or rejected and feeling trapped are common in such a relationship. Anger and resentment, depression, despair and a sense of hopelessness are other common feelings.

The codependent behavior is often supported by the partners. They cater to the fears and anxieties of the person, deluding themselves that they are helping. However, this simply serves to reinforce the negative behavior patterns. A relationship like this can be repaired but it often takes hard work. Boundaries have to be firmly established and the self respect and self worth of both parties have to be encouraged.

Codependents are often in denial and so the first step towards healing may be recognition of the problem. They need to realize that they are creating their own problems rather than blaming it on the situation or the partner. It is often very difficult for them to reach out for help because they feel shame and fear.

There are many internet sites today dedicated to dealing with this problem. They help a sufferer to identify the problem by giving all the different symptoms. There are different levels of severity and the sooner some people receive help, the more likely they are to address the problem effectively and save their relationships.

The sooner someone reaches out for help, the less likely it is for the problem to reach critical proportions. Awareness, acceptance and then taking action is necessary sooner rather than later. Recovery is possible and there are various methods and techniques professionals use to address the issue and establish a healthy relationship.




About the Author:



No comments :

Post a Comment